I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Congratulations! We have a period
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