to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
