giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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