we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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