covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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