He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
