Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
