Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
