You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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