I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
