Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
