Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
