i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
