so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
