This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Everything about him screamed your future.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
