this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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