$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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