that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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