Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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