I think I died a long time ago.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
