There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
