we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You pole danced in your parka.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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