I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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