Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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