i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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