whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
