im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
