weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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