honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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