No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
