Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
