Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
