The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
