If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
