so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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