And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
