I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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