"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How external is "for external use only"?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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