Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
