guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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