While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
