his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
