In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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