dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
