it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
