even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
