I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
