Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
