Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
