3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
