I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
