Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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