its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
